Of Church, Shoutouts and Twitter
You've got to love Twitter and its interesting trending topics! #ChurchShoutOuts was trending a few hours ago. Here are some of the funny tweets:
#ChurchShoutOuts:
-to the background leaders, who want to lead the song but can't carry a tune in a bucket! "God is Good..All the Time''
-to the women who wear their club clothes to church looking for Mr Right! Even if your sins be as red as scarlet....
Give your neighbor a high five
- to the lead singer who must always tap the mic or blow in it to see if it's on! Can I get a Amen?
-Will Somebody tell Sister Jenkins to (PLEASE) stop putting pennies & nickels in the tithes & offerings?
-to Sister Williams for fainting every sunday...your dedication is unmatched!
- to that baby that cries the whole service, every Sunday
-somebody bring the youth from the back to the front, & sit between them! They need to hear this messsage!
-to the lady that catches the holy ghost every sunday!
look at your neighbor and say, "NEIGHBOR!!! I don't know what YOU came to do, but I came to PRAISE"...
I was glad (ha) ..when they said (ha)...Let US go (ahaaaa) INTO the HOUSE of the LORD ! Can I get a witness up in here!!
- to the lady with the unglued lacefront wig that be sliding around her forehead when she start shouting! Lord have mercy!
- to the lady who always want to sing a song she doesn't know the words to-during testimony service. She can't even hit a note!
The Lord shall do a new thing in your life!
Pastor- " I don't mind change, cause my God can turn coins into dollars, we will take it all, Jesus ain't picky" "Go touch three people and say Increase!" You better call the things that be not, as though they were!! God is about to do a supernatural release in this place!!”
- to the preacher with the bright suits on. Somebody say Glory. Congregation: gloooraaay!
- to the kitchen committee that ALWAYS has something great prepared in the back! "&& let the church say...?"
-to the lady that always wants to read for the pastor, but can't. The Devil is a Liar!"
-to the adulterers who complain about the gossips!Get thee behind me Satan!
-To those who contributed to the Pastor's new car. We still don't have any hot water or heat, but at least he's riding smooth!
To the dude who always picks up the Bible & runs to the restroom at Offering time. God is watching(over) you!
- to Grandma yelling "Preach Bishop" while telling her troublesome Grandson "Sit your ass down!"
"The Lord is moving in this place, let us take up another offering" --this is like offering number 5 *smh*
-to the Ushers that bring you tissue to make you spit your gum out!
Drats! I almost forgot my gee, David!- for beating down that loudmouth, Goliath!
- to the mothers of the church-sitting on the front row with their 4-feet old hats on, blocking everybody's view
-To ushers that will come to take your baby out cause you won't!
You've got to love Twitter and its interesting trending topics! #ChurchShoutOuts was trending a few hours ago. Here are some of the funny tweets:
#ChurchShoutOuts:
-to the background leaders, who want to lead the song but can't carry a tune in a bucket! "God is Good..All the Time''
-to the women who wear their club clothes to church looking for Mr Right! Even if your sins be as red as scarlet....
Give your neighbor a high five
- to the lead singer who must always tap the mic or blow in it to see if it's on! Can I get a Amen?
-Will Somebody tell Sister Jenkins to (PLEASE) stop putting pennies & nickels in the tithes & offerings?
-to Sister Williams for fainting every sunday...your dedication is unmatched!
- to that baby that cries the whole service, every Sunday
-somebody bring the youth from the back to the front, & sit between them! They need to hear this messsage!
-to the lady that catches the holy ghost every sunday!
look at your neighbor and say, "NEIGHBOR!!! I don't know what YOU came to do, but I came to PRAISE"...
I was glad (ha) ..when they said (ha)...Let US go (ahaaaa) INTO the HOUSE of the LORD ! Can I get a witness up in here!!
- to the lady with the unglued lacefront wig that be sliding around her forehead when she start shouting! Lord have mercy!
- to the lady who always want to sing a song she doesn't know the words to-during testimony service. She can't even hit a note!
The Lord shall do a new thing in your life! Pastor- " I don't mind change, cause my God can turn coins into dollars, we will take it all, Jesus ain't picky" "Go touch three people and say Increase!" You better call the things that be not, as though they were!! God is about to do a supernatural release in this place!!”
- to the preacher with the bright suits on. Somebody say Glory. Congregation: gloooraaay!
- to the kitchen committee that ALWAYS has something great prepared in the back! "&& let the church say...?"
-to the lady that always wants to read for the pastor, but can't. The Devil is a Liar!"
-to the adulterers who complain about the gossips!Get thee behind me Satan!
-To those who contributed to the Pastor's new car. We still don't have any hot water or heat, but at least he's riding smooth!
To the dude who always picks up the Bible & runs to the restroom at Offering time. God is watching(over) you!
- to Grandma yelling "Preach Bishop" while telling her troublesome Grandson "Sit your ass down!"
"The Lord is moving in this place, let us take up another offering" --this is like offering number 5 *smh*
-to the Ushers that bring you tissue to make you spit your gum out!
Drats! I almost forgot my gee, David!- for beating down that loudmouth, Goliath!
- to the mothers of the church-sitting on the front row with their 4-feet old hats on, blocking everybody's view
-To ushers that will come to take your baby out cause you won't!
No comments:
Post a Comment