Sunday, 4 January 2015

The EPL Season- First Half: My Thoughts On The Big Clubs

The EPL Season- First Half: My Thoughts On The Big Clubs

One reason why Chelsea would win the EPL this season: Diego Costa

Chelsea threw away the title last season because there was a paucity of goals up front. To put things in perspective:

In just 4 matches, Costa scored the amount of league goals that Torres scored for Chelsea in 2 seasons!!

Hear some description of him:

"Costa looks like a Bond villain's henchman."

"Fred Flintstone after a crack binge."

"Costa looks like he came straight out of the Flinstones."

"Costa looks like drug cartel leader."

"Absolute class striker despite his fred flintstone face."

"Costa looks like Oscar's dad."

"Looks like the bad guy from Last Action Hero!"

"He looks like an extra from Scarface."

"He looks like a piece of low-grit sandpaper."

"He kinda looks like a monstrous version of Oscar."

"He looks like he could be Tevez's Dad."

"Diego Costa has the face of a man who probably has hundreds of gigabytes of filthy pornography on his computer."

Basically, he's BAMF- that's abbr. for Bad Ass Mother F*ck*r* *

Costa's solo goal against Fenerbahce in a preseason friendly is an example of what Chelsea were lacking last season- agility, strength, accuracy in front of goal.

Like A Boss

Despite our poorest showing of the season on New Year's Day, we still scored 3 goals ( that is significant) . You'll almost always win a match if you score 3 goals, either home or away

What Mourinho needs to correct so that we don't throw away the title again this season: address our right-sided weakness

I reiterate for the umpteenth time since the onset of this second Mou coming- Ivanovic is not a full back, he is a CB.

He has the positional sense of a centre back playing as a right back. His ability to just seemingly let crosses come into the area is unparalleled.

I wish our back 4 is Luis Felipe (LB), Terry &Zouma or Ivanovic(CB) and Azpi (RB) and I wish Remy would get more game time in this Chelsea team.

Notice I have omitted Cahill. He needs time on the bench.

I have never seen a defender back away so readily from an attacker. It is almost comical seeing him virtually run into his area under minimal threat. Harry Kane made Cahill look like a pub player marking Messi the other day. It was like Cahill was playing with clenched buttocks ( just try running with that ) His unwillingness to just step forward and make a challenge is so irritating.

He was overheard saying this after that match: "if Harry Kane's dog was on fire and I had to pee, I’d hold that ish until I gave myself a urinary tract infection"

We are desperate for someone on the right hand side who is direct, capable of playing at pace, dribbling well and who takes a shot. Hazard does this well on the left ( he has started taking more shots too)

Costa will score more goals if he gets more service from the right- the kind he gets from the left

Schurlle should have fit this bill but I can't explain his loss of form this season. Maybe what he needs is more game time or, better still, give Remy a chance here.

Remy deserves more game time, QED

Mikel just showed how valuable he still is in the Chelsea CM-particularly in big away fixtures -after the debacle at White Hart Lane.

Matic had too much pie to eat before the match and the entire defence took the day off like Ferris Bueller

Dear Lord, please make Chelsea vs Spurs happen in the COC final.

There has to be atonement for that insubordination

Man City -had the easier fixtures over the festive season and what they've been able to do well is grind out results while not been spectacular. The fact that they have done without 2 of their key players Aguero and Kompany is worthy of note though

( Ex-Chelsea Lampard single-handedly earning them 7 points sucks too! - the goal against us, the winning goals against Leicester and Sunderland in their last match. Here's a link on the loan/season-long contract 'sleaze' :

I have to put this here: I'm not sure why City CB, Eliaquim Mangala hasn't been found out more often in the EPL ( he had a horror show against Hull City in the first half of the season) He plays like somebody with yam tubers in his shorts

Of course you could say it's a bit rich coming from a Chelsea fan- after the horror show of our defenders last time out!

The Stamford Bridge clash at the end of the month is looking very important now.

I don't know whether it is necessary to talk about any of the other big teams apart from Man City, 'cos I think they are the only ones we have to worry about this season.

The almost cryptic similarity in our EPL statistics ( Chelsea & Man City ) after the New Year games simply means: we start all over again.

Man Utd - are a team who are trying to regain their identity, in my opinion.

They used to be the Don Juans

Now their names are just Twans

( I hope you saw what I did there )

The misty-eyed nostalgists at Old Trafford would definitely agree with this

It is a big surprise that Van Gaal has not managed yet to make the team play better than they are doing.

Most people still don’t see a flow, a rhythm. They won five on the spin before their treble draws, but they were absolutely pummelled at Arsenal and should have lost against Southampton and Stoke City in their last game. The injury list excuse is becoming tired and played out for such a big team

Word on the streets was that Vidic might be coming back to shore up that defence - which has the presence of a wet handkerchief. I hope this is just pepper-soup joint talk.

Like a relationship, never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

Falcao's loan move may become permanent though ( for a lot of dough!! If anyone calls any other person MMR in Manchester again, ehn? ) if this story is anything to go by

Arsenal - *sighs*

Grapevine asks: "Why do they continue to leave the meat market sausage free?"

..... well, the rest of us collectively say: long may Wenger's reign continue!

It has to be the 8th wonder of the world that Mertesacker is such an accomplished central defender

He has the gait of a baby giraffe and y'all know that giraffe and pace are two words that don't like each other

Small wonders that the defence has been caught out for pace frequently this season

Alexis Sanchez is a breath of fresh air but even Superman needed his Kryptonite from time to time. Sanchez looked like someone who needed a breather in recent times. I still cannot understand why the now departing Podolski struggled to get a game in this side

Liverpool - what is happening to Brendan Rodger's team this season is the reason why Managers like Mourinho & Ancelotti have to be respected. The fact that you had a great season and a lot of money to spend in the next season doesn't always guarantee success in this game. Everton's Martinez is waking up and smelling the coffee too

Liverpool's defence has had the consistency of wet tissue paper all season and the attack would make an impotent man feel like a stud!

It was always going to be difficult replacing Luis Suarez but you'd agree with me that a player like Alexis Sanchez would have been a 'closer' like-for-like replacement than Lambert or Balotelli

I can't do this Liverpool part without mentioning that Steven Gerrard leaving at the end of the season is the best decision for all.

He did say the deciding moment was the sit-down he had with Brendan Rodgers about the need to manage his minutes at his age.

Hear Zidane on Gerrard:

"I have said in the past that at his peak he was the best in the world.

"I think it was the summer of 2004 I was having a conversation with Florentino (Perez) and I told him I wanted him to partner me in midfield for Madrid.

"I know the club tried twice but he wouldn’t leave Liverpool. Not many players turn down Real Madrid!! but I think that tells you a lot about the loyalty of the man ."

I love this league and this game!



Saturday, 3 January 2015

Top Five verdict: Smooth

Top Five Verdict: Smooth


Just seen this comedy flick

Chris Rock plays a comedian striving to become a 'serious' actor, while Rosario Dawson plays an intelligent and beautiful journalist- who's trying to write a story about his career

Their on-screen chemistry was obvious!! *phew* ( check out the pixs)

The flick is funny, intelligently crafted and critics have rated it as Rock's best work to date.

I can't agree more!

....The background songs, the crazy cameos by an array of stars, the play with the Prince Charming/Cinderella and lost shoe story....I loved it all!

The 'Sleaze' - it is believed that Rosario Dawson is going out with Chris Rock now, and this might have contributed to his recent divorce from wife of nearly 19 years, Malaak Compton ( pix 4)

(The couple had been having issues for a long time and had separated before though)