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Chelsea's Ramires joins Chinese Club

It's official: Ramires has joined Chinese Super League Club, Jiangsu Suning
His achievements & most memorable goals are in the pix & video above respectively
Thanks for the memories, 'Blue Kenyan'
All the best

The Japanese Vaginal Stick

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The Japanese vaginal stick

Original article

This article fascinates me because:

1. of my OB-GYN background

2. of it's play with words

''....Inserting things into vaginas to make them “tighter” isn’t so unusual. The belief stems from a practice to “dry out” the vagina—which seems, uh, not fun? The theory goes that a dry, non-lubricated vagina results in painful penetration and spasms, which will “tighten the vaginal opening.”

In fact, according to a PLOS One study, women have inserted everything from herbs, bleach, and even pulverized rock in their vaginas.
All in an effort to obtain the holy grail of vaginas: the dry, sandy, vagina. Yikes!! 

gasp emoticon grin emotof vaginas: the dry, sandy, vagina. Yikes!! gasp emoticon

A vagina full of pulverized rock you say? It gives “dry-humping” a whole new meaning. smile emoticon
If you are really worried about a loose vagina, go for Kegel exercises instead:Kegel  

The conclusion:
“Vaginas should be wet and they should stretch. That’s part of what makes them fun. (spoken like an OB-GYN smile emoticon ) So please don’t get the Japanese vagina stick

Perspectives 3- for the football Aficionado

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Perspectives 3- for the football Aficionado

Serie A


Pirlo- rolled back the years once again yesterday with a 30-yard match-winning beauty against Atalanta

He is key to the Biaconeri's success in midweek, against Dortmund in the CL

Juventus were far from impressive in that match and they've shown a tendency to concede from set-pieces in recent times ( they did again yesterday, to allow Atalanta take the lead against the run of play) They are also susceptible during counter-attacks

So, expect Reus and Aubamayang to harrass and harry Pirlo and the CBs, Bonucci and Chiellini

Max Allegri's 4-3-1-2 formation means that Pirlo can easily be the source of their midfield/counter attack vulnerability. Pirlo can also look bad when he has no one to pass to. ( see photo 1)

This is why fans prefer Caceres and Padoin at FBs. They actually play like FBs rather than Lichtsteiner and Evra who think they’re WBs/wide mids and often play the positions too advanced. Not only does this shore up defense but it means the midfielders/Pirlo are not isolated with no one to pass to.

For this formation to be perfect against Dortmund, Pereyra has to play behind the strikers. That way, you get creative attacking width through him because he moves around up there and drifts wide

( to find out why Allegri ditched his predecessor, Conte's 3-5-2 and adopted 4-3-1-2 to accommodate the vital Pirlo, the tactical formation- inclined can check out this article)

Pogba and Tevez have to raise their games too ( they've been lukewarm recently ) and Moratta has to pair Tevez up front ( although Llorente scored ( a scrappy goal) yesterday, he looks like a poor fit up front- that has been the story of his season so far )

Bundesliga

Dortmund- it appears as if they have broken through that mental block! They are now 10th after their 3rd consecutive victory. To understand how well they are playing -particularly in attack- check out this Gundogan goal ( their second, in a 3-2 victory against Stuggart yesterday) it's a thing of beauty.

They are still vulnerable in defence though ( Sahin should have been sent off for preventing a clear goal-scoring opportunity. Dortmund conceded the first goal from the resultant penalty though), this is why their match against Juve in Turin, on Tuesday is difficult to call

Hear Gundogan expressing sympathy for the hapless Stuttgart : " we were bottom ourselves a couple of weeks ago. It's not a nice situation. The head is willing but the body doesn't respond" That has to be the quote of the week :D

Bayern

How do you solve a problem like Xabi

Bayern have been poor travellers of late.

It appears that if you target Xabi Alonso by man-marking him, combining a high press defence while simultaneously maintaining deep structured defensive lines, you neutralise their build-up play and render their attack flaccid ( it worked at Wolfsburg, Schalke and Shakhtar recently) Xabi got sent off in that Shaktar game too! :-(

He is not a very mobile player, hence his game is stifled with this approach and his good passing ability is limited to ineffective sideways and backward passes.

Or perhaps Schweinsteiger just cramps Alonso's style and both shouldn't be playing at the same time. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that Xabi ran the show for the first 3 months in Bayern, but since Schweini came back from injury, Xabi's performance has dipped.

La Liga

Barca

I'm not going to bore you with the news ( maybe I should) that Leo Messi is on course to break his 91 goals a season record set in 2012.

The signs look 'ominous' too!:

1. He has 5 more goals than he did at this stage back then ( 14 vs 9 )

2. He's working hard ( getting back earlier than others to training after a break)

3. CR7 winning his 3rd Ballon D'Or is enough motivation for the vertically-challenged one :-)

4. There is Copa America this summer ( he didn't have this 'luxury' to add to his tally in that record-breaking year!! )

The search for Xavi's replacement

Rakitic has done well, but he's no Xavi. Oliver Torres might be a perfect fit. He is like a Xavi incarnate. Check out this article for more



Real Madrid

It was a solid yet oddly uncomfortable win for Real in midweek ( vs Schalke )

It's a step in the right direction though following their recent slump. The real buzz after that game was Lucas Silva's performance in the middle. The young lad was solid -considering this was his first full game. There are already talks that he is an upgrade to Khedira and Illaramendi. Time will tell

EPL

Arsenal-

For Wilshere to return, Ramsey had to be injured. The two cannot simultaneously play in the centre of midfield. It's Murphy's Law of Averages regarding Injuries in Arsenal's Midfield. :-)

If he plays, ( very likely) will he be disciplined enough to smartly choose his moments to join the attack, and to protect Coquelin in the pivot? This is the big question in Wenger's recent romance with the counter-attacking 4-1-4-1 formation. We might find out soon, starting with Crystal Palace today

Man Utd

LVG's men aren't very good, but at least they're annoying people again.

Why?

It's called the Hot Piss Paradox:

The knowledge that your team and, by extension, you have gotten away with it, and everybody is really annoyed with that. It is what Man Utd has been doing all season- the play ain't sh*t but they keep getting decent results.

Why Hot Piss Paradox? 'Cos rolling around in hot piss is literally a terrible idea, but metaphorically great fun, it seems! Ask a tantrum-throwing kid :D

We'll see if this streak continues at Swansea. Both Phil a Jones and RVP are available after short injury lay offs

Man City

Much of the talk is whether Bony will make his City debut vs Newcastle this weekend. Toure should start though and I suspect Pellegrini will keep Bony on the subs bench and start with the same line up that will face Barca in midweek- with Silva playing just behind Aguero in a 4-4-1-1 modification of the traditional 4-4-2 set up

Liverpool

Mario Balotelli tweeted about "Penalty-gate" : "Thank you hendo for let me take the penalty. Stop drama now." Apart from the slight grammar challenge, that seems like some pretty good advice. Let’s stop the drama. Now! :D

Chelsea

We are in a unique and enviable position ( and I'm not talking about the all season- long OATT status :P ) when it comes to goalkeepers. Check out this article for what we think about the Courtois/Cech situation

Scottish Championship

Stan Collymore has been fired from his job as a BT Pundit

It follows his demand that Rangers’ games should not be televised because of sectarian singing by their fans, citing references in songs to "Fenian blood".

(These are "Billy Boys" songs- composed in the 1930s

"Billy Boys" were a Protestant street gang in Glasgow led by Billy Fullerton in the 1920s

Rangers fans adopted their songs when this gang started attending games)

Collymore wrote a series of tweets about the matter. One said: "I can hold my head high and say I did the right thing to challenge hypocrisy amongst Rangers fans"



These songs were eventually banned by the Scottish Govt & the SFA in 2011 'cos of the "Up to our knees in Fenian blood" line in it

Fenian- the Fenian Brotherhood is a fraternal organisation dedicated to the establishment of an independent Irish Republic in the 19th and early 20th century.

These are Catholics. Rangers and its fans are Protestants. I hope you get the vibes now

Collymore chose the wrong medium ( Twitter) in my opinion and BT were within their rights to fire him. Why Twitter? What's the point?

Finally, a word on racism in football:

Andi Thomas makes a lot of sense in this article



"Football in general, and football fans in particular, can't persuade a racist not to be a racist. And a sport, and the people who follow that sport, cannot dismantle a system of discrimination and oppression that has existed for centuries and continues to exist, even though it's no longer acceptable to stand on the terraces and lob darts at the nearest black head. What football and football fans can do, however, is work together to make the game as safe a space as possible for everybody, at the same time as wider society works towards the same ends"

This is the kind of discussion I want to be having on these issues- Racism & Sectarianism- not the ( in my opinion) "your club has more racists than mine" mindless, waste of brain function psychobabble that sometimes happen in some fora

It is what it is

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Chelsea 1 vs Everton 0: Three Massive Points

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Chelsea 1 vs Everton 0

3 words: Three Massive Points

Oscar didn't feature for this one. Official reason- injury. I'd love to think it might be related to his poor performance recently. Willian was on the left wing , Cuadrado was on right and Hazard was the No 10 with the free role behind Remy. Cech replaced Courtois in goal and Zouma got the nod ahead of Cahill

This victory was by no means easy

It might have been a much more straightforward night if the referee, Moss, had seen Naismith use an arm to lever the ball away from Cuadrado as they challenged one another inside the penalty area with only four minutes gone.

Matic was bullish from the first minute, Willian had his curler superbly saved by an inspired Tim Howard who was returning from injury. Hazard missed a vital touch in front of Howard which could have resulted in a goal. Cuadrado was lively and played with a lot of understanding with the front trio of Hazard, Willian and Remy

We should have been out of sight by half time. We showed much invention but lacked a killer touch and the final ball was often poor

We were almost punished by Everton when Barkley put Lukaku in the clear. He took the shot early, hoping to catch Cech out, but the keeper dealt with it by extending a leg and knocks it out for a corner with his boot.

O Chelsea, where is thy sting?

The second half continued in the same vein with Chelsea trying to break down a stubborn Everton defence without much joy. Howard appeared to have watched the video of his massive display in that World Cup game against Belgium, Stones and Jagielka were immense in the Toffees' defence

Fabregas for Cuadrado, Drogba for Remy happened in the 72nd min

Everton were beginning to fancy their chances of actually nicking all the points. In the 70th min, from a corner, McCarthy played a fine reverse pass out to Oviedo on the left who fizzed a cross through the six-yard box. Lukaku made the run, got his foot on it at point-blank range ( it should have been a goal) but Cech saved superbly with his leg ( heard he was a handball goalie in his previous life! )

In the 87th min, Hazard turned a pass back to Matic 20 yards out who scooped it past Howard and into the net. Goal! ....No!! :-( Chelsea celebrated but the flag was up and it was a fine decision from the linesman because the shot hit Ivanovic on the shoulder on the way past Howard and he was a yard offside.

It was going to be one of those nights where we are frustrated despite our better possession and drop two points. But da Silva Willian had not read that script. A well struck half volley nestled in the back of the net ( after taking a slight deflection from Steven Naismith) in the 89th min ! Goal!

The goal came a moment after Barry was sent off for a second yellow for a hack at Willian. Both Ivanovic and McCarthy were booked from the ensuing melee- during which Ivanovic did a quasi-headbutt where his head kisses the opponent's forehead rather than genuinely smacking it.

My thoughts

How cool was the music during the entrance of the players on to the the pitch, dimmed lights and all?

We were in cruise control for most of this game but forgot to work the gears and hit the accelerator. It didn't matter at the end

Willian was immense yet again, with his work rate and general play

He has really upped the ante in his game in the last 3 weeks. I'm sure the Cuadrado purchase has something to do with it.

While everybody including the fans were panicking, he was probably singing this:

. "E Farabale o emi ni Baale o, t'e ba dobale o , e ma kaa nle o! " ( Baale Baale by Pope ft Reminisce )

The Toffees they were so tight...

but Willian he showed us light

(I hope you saw what I did there? )

Everton fans had probably started talking about 1 point nicked and a clean sheet. Willian said "Were there dragons in that fairy tale?"

Kurt Zouma really looks like a long-term answer at centre back, doesn't he? It's hard to find too much to complain about with the way he's been playing of late.

Zouma Stats:

87% Pass Completed

1 Chance Created

5 Ball Recoveries

2/2 Tackles

5/5 Clearances

4/4 Headed Clearances

3/5 Aerial Duels

Booyakasha

He's only been with Chelsea for a week but Juan Cuadrado looked like he had a pretty good understanding with his attacking teammates.

Matic was in full beastmode tonight. He controlled that midfield like a boss!

His attack take-Ons ( 7 of 7 successful. By the way, that's 100%! )

Loic Remy was poor today. There was a lot of effort, but he just never seemed to be on the same page as his teammates with his runs-particularly in the box.

Costa would have been at the end of one or two of those crosses into the Everton box.

That Petr Cech save tho!.......Divine!!

9 out of 10 times that nestles in the back of the net

Lukaku was like...."Whoa, what happened there?"

Cech now has 167 clean sheets, just 3 short of David James' 170 record

Pix 4: Cech be like: "Courtois, give me my place back"

Branislav Ivanovic was probably offside for the disallowed goal, but it's hard to feel like that should have been called given the obvious handball mistake early on. Jose Mourinho should be happy, shouldn't he?

Pix 4- Diego Costa's reaction when he learnt Man City were leading 4-1 at Stokes:

It's called the Diego Shrug, it actually means- Zero Fux Given

Interviewer asks Mourinho: "Did you see the Ivanovic incident where it was believed…" Replies…."What?" with a screwface….after the interviewer repeats the question, José simply replies "Don’t make me laugh." Classic!!

Chelsea left it late but we're still 7 points clear at the top.

Awesome!



 

 

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Mauricio Pochettino's Spurs : Purple patch or The Real Deal

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Mauricio Pochettino's Spurs : Purple patch or The Real Deal

 

We hardly see narratives from a Spurs perspective over here ( for obvious reasons..they don't have fans on this Blog!. )

I feel obliged to do one after what I saw yesterday ( Spurs 2 -Arsenal 1 )

Arsène Wenger has seen many Spurs sides come and go, but few have outplayed Arsenal so thoroughly as Mauricio Pochettino’s did yesterday.

Arsenal were pinned down and pushed around. Spurs haven't done that to Arsenal very often in recent times. But it was lovely to see ( at least as a Chelsea fan :-) )

Spurs -Kyle Walker ( played like Cafu, he left Ozil and the Arsenal left wing for dead in many occasions with pace) Danny Rose complemented him on the right. Ryan Mason ( probably ran Kane close for MoTM. Thanks F.O. For making me more aware of him before the game) he was all-action-hero in defensive midfield and with the equally impressive Nabil Bentaleb, they totally bossed Arsenal in the middle of the park.

Moussa Dembele seems to have regained his self belief and ability to impact matches. It's a shame he can't score though (Poche might be waving his magic wand on that aspect of his game too) He has totally changed from holding midfielder and deep passer to ‘destroyer’ No. 10. He led the high press, which is a feature of the new Spurs, pretty well. This switch suits his strengths much better and credit to Pochettino for recognizing that.

Lamela is improving too

I thought Eriksen, who has frequently been their match winner this season, had a strangely subdued game

Nacer Chadli, who had a great game against Chelsea, is also a good player even though he only had some minutes yesterday.

All that is left is to get Soldado scoring again

Big Daddy Kane...nah, scratch that..:-) ....Harry Kane - I can't speak highly enough of this dude. 22 goals in all competitions, 12 already in the league, and he wasn't the main striker at the beginning of this season!.....He looks like the Real Deal

The icing on the cake is that he looks like someone who just seems to be enjoying everything.

Check out his one man single lap of honour after the game yesterday: He left the rest of the team and went off to the South Stand (where some of the most hardcore Spurs supporters sit) and the cameras followed him around the ground on that glory lap from there. There was no commentary and the feeling was intense, it was beautiful

Pochettino is building a beast at Tottenham, but he's making great use of the resources developed within Spurs academy ranks ( their latest acquisition is Dele Alli, who looks like another class act in the middle )

I don't think this is just a purple patch, I think it is something to really be worried about by the traditional top 4 ( judging by his antecedents at Southampton )

Time will tell though. I'm going to be watching their next game against 'Pool with keen interest now. I have to.

Hear Wenger: "We were not very good and the referee was at our level. On Kane, he said: “He was good, as always. He grows and he has a good determination. He doesn’t stop, keeps going. The regret I have is that we gave him a cheap goal."

Ahh, I see what you are saying Arsene, you didn't play very well, the referee was poor and you lost because you made a charitable mistake at the back ( I hope the sarcasm is not lost on y'all)

Incisive analysis of the game as ever! ( there were a lot of gooners who feel just the same yesterday on the match thread)

Now imagine if that comment had been made by Mourinho after a Chelsea loss - where his team was clearly second best... Sites would have been inundated with those hypocritical "Mou is unrealistic, Mou is uncharitable, Mou isn't magnanimous to the opposition in defeat" posts

Spurs were better, and even when they were a goal down, any realistic person watching that game would see that they were not fazed. They were still playing like a side who felt they were going to win that match.. ...and there was nothing cheap about those Kane goals. He took them well. Fortune favours the brave

Suddenly, Chelsea's defeat on New Year's Day doesn't look like a fluke anymore and Wembley glory on March 1 doesn't look like a foregone conclusion.

But we have Mou. He'll find a way. He.Always.Does

Bonus fact- Pochettino was the Argentine defender who fouled Michael Owen and gave away a penalty in the England vs Argentina Group F game ( World Cup 2002)

David Beckham converted the spot kick and England won 1-0 -A crucial victory for the English then

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21084894

NB

You probably missed the verbal sparring between Arsenal fan, Piers Morgan ( who has an uncanny talent of sticking his foot into his mouth ) and former Spurs boss, Alan Sugar on Twitter:

RepRe

.@piersmorgan - ( before the match) "Kane can't get on Arsenal's bench"

@Lord_Sugar -

@piersmorgan-glad you got up at 4 am, now you have the rest of the day to get aggravated. Classic "Kane could not get on Arsenal bench" :D

@piersmorgan-

@Lord_Sugar-

Wenger 700th game in charge of Arsenal and has played against 11 Spurs managers.

You hired 7 of those losers! :-)

@aDonohue- Spurs fan:

To be fair, the Arsenal bench is reserved as a smoking section :D

 

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