Thursday, 17 April 2014

The Artists Formerly Known As Barça, who will henceforth be known as Plain Old Barcelona...and their Talisman Lionel 'Missing' Messi

The Artists Formerly Known As Barça, who will henceforth be known as Plain Old Barcelona...and their Talisman Lionel 'Missing' Messi

Why the change of name?

In five games against Atlético, Barcelona won none. They scored just twice. They have scored only six goals in their last six games, against Granada, Betis, Espanyol, in the two games against Atlético and against Real. Three came from penalties (one on the rebound) and another was an own goal. Yesterday's goal was very unBarca-like: a header from a defender, Marc Batra!!

The case against Messi (some Barca fans' perspective):

Argentine coach ( Tata( clysm ) Martino )was brought in for Messi. Ibrahimovic ( Ibra) 'kicked out' because of Messi. Pep left because the team (likely Messi) wasn’t responding like it used to. Messi gets a new contract every year. Messi has become too powerful and instead of doing the right thing for Barca they do the right thing for Messi.

Everybody is so damn scared of Messi because they think he was the only reason Barca won all the cups forgetting about two of the great midfielders to ever play ( Iniesta/Xavi) and the coach that created it all ( Pep Guardiola) Bring in a real striker and get Messi to be challenged/step up his game or let him cry all he wants.

Compare to Madrid: No way will they do all this for Ronaldo. Ozil was kicked out- it doesn’t matter how much Ronaldo complained. Bale brought in and many thought he will make Ronaldo less important. Doesn’t matter. Team over player

Ibra's 'damning' evidence:

"It was a childhood dream and I was walking on air,’ said Ibrahimovic. ’It started well but then Messi started to talk.

‘He wanted to play in the middle, not on the wing, so the system changed from 4-3-3 to 4-5-1. I was sacrificed and no longer had the freedom on the pitch I need to succeed’

So I asked for a meeting with Guardiola – for a discussion, not an argument. I said I was being used in the wrong way and that they shouldn’t have bought me if they wanted another type of player.

’I told him what a friend had said to me – “you bought a Ferrari but drive it like a Fiat”. The chat seemed to go well but then Guardiola started to freeze me out"

Frankly speaking: a lot of this is half-baked tosh ( & we all know how Narcissistic Ibra can be)

However there are a few truths in it. These inevitably come under scrutiny when things go south ( 'cos football fans are fickle. We forget easily)

A typical example is this criticism by a fan:

"When you are sh*t hot and scoring goals for fun and the team is winning, walk around the pitch all you want. When you are not, don't. You look like a tit! Shocking level of desire, commitment and lack of professionalism!!

Some of us didn't think that we'd live to see this day!!

Lionel Messi vilified! Sacrilege!

Lionel Messi one of the greatest to play this game

( Had to put this here: He's not GOAT, y'all know where I stand on that ish. PELE!!

I don't think Messi will ever be now. )

Moral of the story- No one stays exceptional for ever. Not Iniesta, not Xavi, not Messi, not even the greatest clubside to play the game (Barca 2011 on my mind)

(Now, that Tiki Taka is just as dry as a Popcorn fart! )

Never mind, things will get better when they fortify the squad in the transfer window- particularly that leaky defence


There may not be a transfer window if the lawyers don't successfully overturn the ban!!

Lest I forget: Pinto makes Victor Valdez look like Sepp Maier.

He is a joke of a keeper. The sooner he gets back on his horse to lead The Dothraki on their next raid, the better . Khal Drogo on my mind!

Wait! Don't tell me you don't watch GoT!! Shame on you!

You can actually spend quality time elsewhere, you know!

Let's say the Transfer ban is upheld:

Here's a suggestion for next Season-

Neymar, Messi, Gerard Deulofeu

Iniesta, Rafinha


Alba Pique Bartra Montoya


Bench: Xavi, Alexis, Edgar Le, Adama, Jean Marie Dongou, Pedro, Mascherano.

Tata Martino is a 'dead man walking' in Managerial terms

His main criticism:

-the persistence with Cesc and Neymar in big games, when their presence clearly constricts the spaces Iniesta and Messi play into, is monumentally stupid. Tata does it again and again even though both Alexis and Pedro have been better when called upon this season.

In his defence- people say he didn't really call the shots at the club

Possible Replacements:

Manager: Jurgen Klopp or Roberto Martinez

My view: Sell Fabregas and Alves. ( there's a certain Manager who loves a bargain purchase in the Premiership who might be interested! )

What sayeth thou?


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